The Rise of Consumerism in the Future Will Yield Easier Access To Reclusive Reptiles

As you may have imagined consumerism hits rampant levels in the future. You don't even have to leave the comforts of your taxi.

This glorious woman, wanted to sell me a turtle and some steering wheel covers.

Me: How much for that (pointing to the turtle)
Her: 180¥
Me: Too much!
Her: Not too much!

At this point, the cabbie either yelled "roll up the window" or "fucking American". I am not really sure. But he yelled at her a whole bunch and she left.

Then she came back as we were pulling away, hit the car with her hand and yelled "Turtle!"

I miss that weird woman and her wares...

Happy Clown Flowers: The Most Embarassing Job on the Planet or a Reduced Sentence in Purgatory?

One very beautiful past future day, I was walking around my Blade Runner-esque city with a blinding hangover. I'm not proud of it, I just want you to realize how I was feeling when I saw the sight that bicycled past me.

A man in full clown gear in the heat of August delivering flowers dodging traffic sauntered by me looking sad and sweaty.

As he whizzed by on his clown bicycle, I was trying to think how I would explain this sight to anyone. I made up a song that day. It was a very sad song about the trials of a lonely clown in big, big city forced to deliver "Happy Clown Flowers" in dripping face paint and silly, over-sized clown shoes.

Fast forward 6 months into my future and further into yours, I was walking to work when I saw something akin to seeing the Yeti. I spotted the Happy Clown Flowers clown again (I will pretend it was the same man).

The world seemed in slow motion as I reached for my camera and he looked at me as if to say "Hey man, look at me! I'm dressed as a dang clown. And now you gotta be snapping photos of me, probably to put on your blog about living in the future."

I don't know how we read one another so completely.

As elusive as Yeti, his pose was remarkably similar.





I'll never forget about you Happy Clown Flowers clown.