Ignorance More Often Begets Confidence Than Does Knowledge.

That's what this man named Darwin once told my buddy Ryan and Ryan told me, and I think this man would agree.

Next Time I Will Leave Something That Represents Me On My Corner.

This is the view from my street on a miniature model level. When I was younger, I didn't even have the patience to put together a model airplane without gluing my fingers together or without putting it down for a few weeks while I pretended I was Andre Dawson.

I have now discovered my new heroes. A group of dedicated individuals who do something that I never could do, make all of Beijing on a smaller scale.

They are the mad geniuses behind the Beijing Planning Exhibition Hall. At the Hall, you'll find one of my favorite things in modern Beijing, a miniature model of the entire city. And this city is HUGE. Insanely big. To give you an example of the detail they put into this, here is my apartment - yes, the pink one. In real life, it's pink too.



The area of the model is about half of a basketball court. And it's centered in the middle of a room. Where the model stops, it then bleeds into aerial shots of the rest of the city, extending deep into the mountains and countryside. The model is detailed enough to pick out all of the landmarks—the CCTV Tower, the new Olympic Buildings, The Chairman's picture looking out into Tiananmen Square and each building of the Forbidden City is perfectly detailed. However, I didn't notice any smoke spewing factories on the outskirts of the city...



The place also details plans for the city of until 2020. But living in the future is enough of the future for me. I could barely handle the model let alone the future future.

"Looka, Looka! Sir, You Want Buy Shirt?!"

In the future, there is a wall and it's a damn fine wall. The Great Wall is indeed a wall of great proportions. I've seen the Eastern most section, which borders the Yellow Sea, in the never to be returned to city of Qinhuangdao and now I've seen Simatai. It's unrestored and is pretty much left how the Ming Dynasty built it. The only thing changed is that some of its stones have been plundered by local farmers. I asked a Mongolian man what they do with the rocks they steal and he said, "they're for throwing". I know that's one of my favorite uses of stones.



The hike was a lot more difficult than I thought. It was steep and it made me want to drink a beer. Like all good hikes.



And to set the record straight, it cannot be seen from space.

Guilt Free Transportation Begins With Your Feet

In the future, there are loads of rickshaws, especially on your way to work. The proprietors of these rickshaws mean well, they want to provide a simple service for you and in return they expect a nominal amount of money.

Here are some tips to avoid being future-guilted into getting into one of these sullied vessels.

1. Don't look Russian. If you're white in Beijing and walking by the Russian markets, this is going to be hard. I am not about to futuristically slander an entire group of people, but if you don't wear fur, faux leather or sparkly sequence you are on your way to not looking Russian.

But that won't stop them from speaking Russian to you (yes, they speak Russian).

::shiver::

2. Don't walk anywhere near them. You may have to walk miles out of your way, but your tardiness will be understood by most.

3. Get your own rickshaw. Rickshaw drivers very rarely offer rickshaw rides to those already in possession of a rickshaw.

4. Close your eyes while walking (you'll confuse and repel them). You may run into things (i.e. rickshaw drivers) and you may develop chronic pains, but in the end you'll be free of that pungent Rickshaw Smell™.

5. Bring offerings of toothpaste and dental floss. Like water and oil, water and oil...