The other future day, I was meeting a friend for dinner and she was running a bit late. No problem. It was a nice evening and I was just going to wait on the corner for her. I was minding my own business observing the hierarchy of taxi drivers. You can tell the more respected ones because they make the others take the foreigners. Since no one tips, taking the foreigners usually sucks because they assume we don't know how to tell you where were going. It's all pretty amusing. Anyway...
I noticed this woman walking towards me and howling some nonsense. I didn't think it was directed at me. But I was the only one standing there. She was in her early 30's, was wearing some horrible insect killing perfume, dressed even worse and she had a Sprite can wedged in her cleavage. I turned away from her, hoping that if I didn't acknowledge her, she wouldn't speak to me. No such luck.
NI HAO! She gave me an open-palmed slap on the ass. I turned around and started backpeddling. She got all up in my face and told me that I was going to take her salsa dancing. I was trying to picture us salsa dancing, but I could only wonder why she had a soda can wedged in between her mopey looking breasts. Perhaps she was trying to smoke and talk on the phone at the same time and couldn't part with the rest of her soda? Maybe she always wanted to yell "No hands!"? Or she was waiting to bum rush a foreigner...
I ended up telling her that I wasn't interested and "No No No..." about 100 times before she took her can out of its holster and slammed it into the concrete and started cursing me out in Mandarin.
She stomped on down the block, turning around and yelling at me every few yards until I couldn't hear her any longer. Hopefully, she got some one to take her salsa dancing or at least buy her a new Sprite.
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